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Hello everyone, this is Howard Fox, and welcome back for another episode of the Outdoor Adventure Series, the podcast that celebrates individuals and families, businesses, and organizations that seek out and promote the exploration, stewardship, conservation, access, and enjoyment of the outdoors.
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Teresa Bergen is our guest today.
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Teresa is a travel writer and a longtime sober person who helps others in recovery see the world without picking up a drink.
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She is also the author of the newly published book, Sober Travel Handbook, Navigating the World Alcohol Free.
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Teresa, it's a pleasure to have you on the podcast.
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Welcome.
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Hi, Howard.
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Thanks so much for having me.
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I'm a big outdoors enthusiast as well, so I'm excited to be on your show.
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I love that.
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And I have to share, while I host the outdoor adventure series podcast, I do not get outdoors and explore as much as some of my guests do.
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And as I was researching for this uh episode today, I'm thinking this woman really gets out there and is going to some exciting places.
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And and I also have to share, I it was not lost on me that you were kayaking on the Chicago River.
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Good for you.
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I I'm originally from Chicago, but Chicago's beautiful and it's so fun.
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Next time you get back there, you got to go kayak on it.
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I think that would be uh something definitely to do.
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The last time I was on a kayak, I literally was pushed out onto the water and tipped over.
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So I don't I I so I I have this feeling, but in any case, this is all about you today because I want to hear all about you.
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First off, where are you located?
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Well, right now I live in Portland, Oregon.
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I've been here since the year 2000, and places I've lived before include um California, various parts of California, and also a couple of places in Louisiana.
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Okay.
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Now, have you always been an outdoor enthusiast?
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Because you, again, you've gone to some really fantastic places, and for our listeners, we're going to take a tour of Teresa's website in a little bit, and you'll see some of her destinations.
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But how did you begin to get the first off the the love of the outdoors and being an outdoor enthusiast, and then the travel bug of actually taking this passion to the four corners of the earth?
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Well, it's funny, and I want readers to, I mean, listeners, I I'm such a writer, I'm always thinking of readers.
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Readers, writers, talkers, walkers.
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We got it all.
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I want everybody to know this because I was a much more of an artsy person when I was younger, and my love of the outdoors has grown as I've gotten older.
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So I want people to know just because you're not in your 20s anymore, doesn't mean you can't start doing outdoorsy stuff.
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That said, one of my earliest outdoor activities as a little child was I wanted to be an entomologist and I was fascinated with bugs.
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So I was always out in the backyard catching bugs and observing bugs and reading the golden book of insects with my mom.
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My favorite with the praying mantis.
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Okay.
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Now, were you the the class nerd in school, always looking and playing with bugs?
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Or um, I wouldn't say I was the nerd, but I was always a little bit offbeat.
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Okay, okay.
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I always had different interests, and I was always pursuing my interests.
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Okay.
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Now, when you were uh a child, where were you?
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Were you first off?
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I'm thinking New Orleans, Louisiana, there's big bugs down there.
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A lot of bugs.
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Yeah, I encountered them later, but I grew up in San Diego.
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Oh, okay.
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That's there's no bugs there, maybe just uh lots of bugs.
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Yeah, you in the yard.
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You had to, but sometimes you have to go looking for them.
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Like I had a pet lizard for a long time that one of our cats brought in and and I rescued.
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And my mom and I spent many bonding moments going out and turning over rocks, trying to catch bugs to bring inside to feed to the lizard in his terrarium, live bugs, so he could hunt them in the terrarium.
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I love that.
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I love that.
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And I'm curious, as you were uh getting older, when did where did you uh type of a background training education did you have?
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A lot of writing.
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So I I am a writer and I have an undergraduate degree in journalism and a master's degree in fiction writing.
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So I've always been interested in other stuff too, but I'd say I was more in the humanities with writing and history and English and social sciences, and not nearly as strong in math or science.
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Although I wish I had applied myself more to those subjects when I was younger.
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Uh I I sometimes I wish I had, I just don't ever think I had the science bug in me because I always wanted to be a doctor, but uh that was I think I'm in addition to podcasting and coach, I'm a coach, leadership development coach, and uh that that fits very well.
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But sometimes we don't get to where we want to be until later in life.
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And uh but it's good that you you discovered that love of writing uh at an early age.
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Now you I know you've written a number of books, and again, we'll we'll visit a couple of those on your website, but what what was the kind of like the the journey to writing this book about sober travel and this this this need for this handbook?
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What what compelled you to want to write this kind of a book?
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So I had trouble with alcohol and other substances from a young age.
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And fortunately, I was able to quit really young.
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I quit I quit everything when I was only 20.
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I stopped drinking before I was even legal because I had a problem with it.
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And that has allowed me to have like a whole adult life to not be stuck in addiction.
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So I've been really, really fortunate that way to have a problem early, identify it early and get out of it.
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And a lot of that is thanks to I had a really nice family who helped me and supported me.
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But okay, so I had that background of being a longtime sober person, and then I've also been travel writing professionally for about 15 years.
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Okay, so those things kind of converge because so much of travel emphasizes alcohol because that's just the norm in our culture is to drink.
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People assume you drink unless you tell them otherwise.
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And so as I was uh traveling as a travel writer, which sometimes I was traveling on my own, sometimes I was on press trips with other groups, with groups of other travel writers and um PR kind of people, there was just such an emphasis on the drinking.
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And so people were always like, Oh, I'm a wine writer.
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Oh, I write about craft beer, and we were always going on these tours to these wineries and stuff where I'm like, la, I'm not gonna pay any attention because I don't drink stuff.
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But it was kind of a handicap for a long time as a travel writer.
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But then I just thought about turning it around.
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So I started announcing to people when they said they were a wine writer, I'd say, Well, I write about sober travel.
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I had no idea what that entailed.
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I just started saying that to try to switch it around so I wasn't at a disadvantage.
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So I've been writing more about travel through a sober lens for maybe the last eight or nine years, and then started to think about maybe there's a book in this about four years ago.
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Okay.
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And how do you inform or help the individuals that are that are wanted to travel and explore and and I do get that alcohol is is heavily involved, but how do you help them navigate when they're in a social situation, they are in an exotic place, and I'm not gonna drink.
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And and and like for me, I just to share this, I I I'm really not a drinker.
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I love a beer, I like a glass of wine every once in a while, but I just don't drink, it's just not something I do.
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And so it's easier for me to have a glass of seltzer water, soda water with a lemon or lime in it, and I'm good.
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Nobody will ever know.
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But how do you help someone who perhaps they can't they have a similar story, a journey that you've had?
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They want to travel, they want to get out there.
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How do you help them?
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What advice would you have for them to navigate this little hurdle so that they can have a good time?
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Well, you make a really good point.
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There's lots of people who are kind of take it or leave it drinkers like you are.
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So this might not be something they've thought of because it just isn't part of their own experience.
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But for people who have had some kind of a drinking problem, especially in quit, then lots of times they're able to make a safe space at home.
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They have like a regular routine, they have people that they see in their everyday lives that support them being sober.
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And so they feel real safe there, but then they get scared at the idea of venturing beyond that because uh, for one thing, when you go somewhere else and nobody knows you, it's like, oh, I could be anyone, I could do different things.
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So I advise people who are who are going to travel for the first time without drinking to first of all have a good support system.
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And your support system starts at home.
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So have people at home that you're gonna check in with.
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So they know you're going here, they know you're having these thoughts about like, oh, what if people try to get me to drink?
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So it's it's important to check in with people back home that will support you.
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Um support people in person too where you're going, that is also an excellent thing, but that doesn't always happen.
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And how do you bridge that that little gap of uh I'm there, I mean solo traveling.
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I mean, I I'm I'm I'm a solo traveler uh when I'm not going to like an association meeting, but how do you bridge that gap when you are but you have a nice Moscow mule mug there?
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I that's not that's not lost on me.
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Oh, isn't this funny?
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I just I didn't even know this was a mock-down mule when I first got it.
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I really like drinking out of copper, and I think it's so beautiful.
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And so I drink my water out of this all the time.
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And I had I didn't even know until I I guess I think I saw one somewhere.
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I'm like, oh, it's a special drink, it's a special cup for special drink.
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I I I think so that's cute.
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Now, okay, in all seriousness though, uh the reason I know that by the way, when I the the roommate and their boyfriend, they're they're into their whatever they're into.
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One of those is the Moscow mule, and she brings out the the mugs.
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Oh, isn't that cute?
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In any case, what's the what techniques or advice would you give for the traveler?
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They're maybe they're the solo traveler, they don't have that support system with them on site.
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What advice would you give to them for helping to navigate, which in my mind it's an easy subject.
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Thank you, but I I I really don't drink.
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However, how what advice would you give to someone who perhaps hasn't been able to articulate and feel comfortable saying I don't drink?
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Practice it ahead of time.
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There are a lot of ways to say it, and you don't owe anybody an explanation unless you feel like giving them.
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You can just say, no, no, thank you.
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If you feel like you really have to give an excuse, you can think of some ahead of time.
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And it can be just something like, oh, it doesn't make me feel very good, or I have an early morning, or it doesn't lots of times it doesn't respond well with them, it doesn't interact well with the medication.
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I mean, you can tell them the truth or you can make something on.
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It doesn't really matter just to keep yourself safe here.
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Or you could say, no, I'm driving.
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There's a lot of and you again, you don't have to give them any explanation, but if it's gonna make you feel more comfortable to give them a short one, just make it short.
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Don't start telling them your life story.
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Sure.
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And I I love the fact that you don't owe anybody an explanation.
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It could be thank you very much, but I'm gonna pass this evening or tomorrow or for this trip, etc.
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What when you are at a an event, is that any different for you?
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And the reason I ask is as a professional writer, travel writer, you probably get to go to a lot of like professional events where it's networking, there's liquor is everywhere.
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Well, are there any different kinds of challenges there versus say you're just traveling from you're in Rome or Bangkok or Sydney and there's liquor and you're saying no, versus say at this organized big event.
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How is that any different?
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Well, some of it is mental because um sometimes I think people care more about whether I drink or not than they really do.
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And I'll start to get this resentment like, oh, everybody else is friends because they're drinking.
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Everybody else is making this deal because they're drinking.
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And that's on me.
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I have to kind of shift my head around and be like, they're doing their thing, I'm doing mine.
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Maybe we're gonna be friends, maybe we're not, but I don't have to, I don't have to drink just because they are.
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And I'm as I become more public about being sober because I'm doing this work and I'm telling people I've been sober travel, I've met so many people who don't drink.
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And some of them are in recovery, but a lot of them have other reasons they don't drink.
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And some of them are at those professional meetings with me.
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And it's really nice when I identify them.
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And I know there's some other people around who also are drinking.
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But before I started developing this area of work, I didn't realize that.
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And I did feel kind of sometimes it was easy to get in this kind of pattern of, oh, feeling sorry for my oh, for me, I'm different because of this or that.
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And again, that's kind of an artificial mindset.
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It's not usually the truth.
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And if someone really does care that I'm not drinking, it's usually because they're wondering about their own drinking.
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It doesn't really reflect on me.
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I'm curious, and I certainly do not know the answer to this.
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And there's there's a lot of cultures where being invited into a home is a part is is a part of their their upbringing, their DNA.
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And do you ever find or have you ever crossed a circumstance where you were invited into a home and say, you know, food was being served, you're breaking bread, some type of alcohol, whatever it was was being offered.
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How do you say no in those instances instances when uh a cultural fall paw is a possibility?
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Yeah, this is kind of a nightmare for me because even worse in these situations than not drinking is that I'm also vegan.
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So that is like my nightmare.
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And it's and sometimes I plan around that.
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Like there's places I'm not gonna go or I'm not gonna do a home stay because I know I'm gonna offend people.
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So I kind of look into that.
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And sometimes if you really think you're gonna be in that situation, try not to get into it.
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And if you are with its alcohol, I mean, for especially for people who have had a problem with it, that's like life or death.
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I mean, I have I have had some shy before with milk in it because someone offered it to me.
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And I'm like vegan, I it's a preference, it's not gonna kill me.
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But the alcohol, I'm definitely gonna draw the line and I'm gonna say, um, I might just say I have an allergy, which is kind of true in a way.
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Like if you, if you, if the drinking produces really bad behavior in you, you have like a history of that happening.
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I mean, we can call that an allergy.
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It's not it's not an outright lie, but I would probably say something like that.
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Like, I really can't drink.
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Or you can also say it's your religion, because people respect that lots of times.
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And there are religions that discourage or forbid drinking.
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Not that everybody always obeys it, but there are religions.
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So you could say one of those things.
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You could say you have an allergy, you could say you have a medical interaction, you could say you have that your religion forbids it.
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Okay.
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And I mean, you're in in Portland now, it's you're fairly close to some good wine country.
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And do you do you ever get invited or uh have been invited with the friends?
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Hey, we're going out to the vineyards and come on with us.
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There's a lot to see and do, and hopefully eat.
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I d I never say no to food unless it's something incredibly exotic.
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Like that's not, I don't want anything to do with it.
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But if if I'm traveling, say to with my friends and family, obviously I have my support system, but we're in a place that a vineyard I can't help but want to smell the aroma, taste, take a sip.
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How do we handle that type of situation?
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It really depends on what kind of non-drinker you are.
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So if you're a non-drinker because you just don't like alcohol, or maybe it's religious or medical interaction and you're not going to feel overly tempted, just go drink something else.
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All the wineries have really good food.
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Vineyards are beautiful.
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So sure, go with them.
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If you're someone who's in recovery, I would only go if I felt really secure.
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If I was newly in recovery, I'd be like, ah, give it a pass.
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I'll do something else with you another day.
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You have to sort of figure out what's for me and what's not for me.
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I recently went to an event.
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It was a dry January event at a local winery, um, or like an hour away from me in the Willamette Valley.
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It was very interesting.
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It was like a different sort of thing for me.
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And they had all these de-alcoholized wines.
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It was very odd.
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But I participated, it was kind of interesting.
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Um, and I think more wineries are making their own de-alcoholized wines now.
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So I would call ahead if I was gonna go and make sure there was something for me.
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And some of them will even let you bring your own drink if you're a non-drinker who's going with a group of people wine tasting.
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That sounds a little weird, but if you really want to go and participate, but again, if you're feeling kind of iffy and you're in recovery, just skip it.
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Okay.
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So I've got one last question, and then I'd love to take us to the website just to the so we can learn more about your work.
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And I know my listeners would appreciate that as well.
00:18:06.480 --> 00:18:21.839
If I'm out traveling, exotic location, alcohol is there, and maybe I I'm feeling like I just I'm getting I'm in the moment with my friends, these new acquaintances, and I'd have that sip.
00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:24.079
Is that the worst thing that can happen?
00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:28.799
Is this a sip or is there something do I really need to be attuned to?
00:18:28.880 --> 00:18:31.279
Like, I just did something I know I shouldn't have done.
00:18:32.799 --> 00:18:36.319
If you're in recovery, I would say do not take that sip.
00:18:36.400 --> 00:18:37.839
And if you do, stop.
00:18:38.720 --> 00:18:42.799
If you're just someone who doesn't, I mean, I don't know what to say.
00:18:42.880 --> 00:18:46.799
If you're if it's your religion, that's on you, or if you have a medication interaction.
00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:50.319
But if you consider yourself in recovery, yeah, leave before that happens.
00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:55.119
If you're feeling like it's too slippery, then just call it a day.
00:18:55.359 --> 00:18:58.000
But don't I I would advise you not to take that sip.
00:18:58.079 --> 00:19:00.880
And if you somehow do, try to stop yourself.
00:19:00.960 --> 00:19:04.160
Don't just say, oh, screw it, because that's sometimes happens.
00:19:04.319 --> 00:19:07.119
There's something called the abstinence violation effect.
00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:17.519
And it's if you if you've been like say you've been sober for 10 years, and then you take a sip, you're like, oh, I just ruined my 10 years, I might as well just get drunk.
00:19:17.680 --> 00:19:23.599
That's not gonna serve you when I'm so if you do take a sip, like it's there have been a couple of times I've accidentally taken a sip.
00:19:23.839 --> 00:19:31.279
One time I was served, I I ordered uh like a sparkling apple juice and they gave me a hard cider instead.
00:19:31.599 --> 00:19:36.240
And I took a sip and I was like, and I I just sort of like backwashed it in the glass.
00:19:36.400 --> 00:19:41.279
I was with some other travel writers and I said, Oh my god, I think that was a hard cider.
00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:42.400
And what do they do?
00:19:42.559 --> 00:19:46.000
They just start passing it around, being like, Oh yeah, it is.
00:19:46.160 --> 00:19:52.480
And I'm thinking, one, I just accidentally sipped something alcohol, and two, now they're all drinking my backwash.
00:19:52.640 --> 00:19:59.119
So unfortunately, I was just able to stop and I and I just I said, Forget, don't even bring me the spit to the apple juice.
00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:00.160
I'm just gonna drink water.
00:20:00.319 --> 00:20:02.720
I can see this is water, I can smell this is water.
00:20:02.960 --> 00:20:05.359
Yeah, so it's gotta rain it in if you screw up.
00:20:05.599 --> 00:20:14.160
Okay, and yeah, and give yourself a little grace and like you, mistake, and I'm aware of it now.
00:20:15.759 --> 00:20:28.640
All right, so I would love to, Teresa, if you're okay, is just let's take a tour of the website because I want to I want to talk more about the book and how it's been organized, but I really want to show my listeners some of the great work that you're doing as well.