Healing Through Nature: The Magic of Carmel Retreats

Barry Shimelfarb

Howard Fox: [00:00:00] Hello everyone. This is Howard Fox, and welcome back for another episode of the Outdoor Adventure Series, the podcast that celebrates individuals and families, businesses, and organizations that seek out and promote the exploration, stewardship, conservation, access, and enjoyment of the outdoors.

Howard Fox: Barry Shimo Farb is our guest today. Barry is a single dad. Cancer, thriver and creator of Carmel Retreats, a boutique destination in Carmel by the Sea for people seeking healing, wellness, joy, and romance. Barry, it's a pleasure to have you on the podcast. Welcome.

Barry Shimelfarb: Howard, it's so great to be here with you. I've gotten to know you just a little bit and your podcast and some of your own personal interests, so I'm really looking forward to a great discussion with you.

Howard Fox: I, I appreciate that. And, I, I often [00:01:00] offer to my guests, let's do a discovery call, which you, uh, took me up on that offer and it was great to, to chat with you and, uh, it your story. It is, is amazing and the location where your story is about to take place that we're gonna share with our listeners is amazing.

Howard Fox: And, uh, I just, just think this is what makes podcasting so much fun. I get to meet interesting people doing really cool things. So thank you for, uh, for being here. I would love if you could. for our listeners, let's start with just a little bit of overview and context to who is Barry Shimel Farb, and then I do have some questions I'm just anxious to ask you, but you know, let's take a, a moment to give, give the listeners about a 30,000 foot view.

Barry Shimelfarb: Sure thing. So I mean, the, the, the role that I am proudest about is that I'm a. Single father of two twin boys who were born in India, and I've [00:02:00] been raising them essentially since the day they were born here. And every day is for any listener who has sons or kids out there. It's a roller coaster ride, but they're just.

Barry Shimelfarb: Really incredible boys who've now turned 13 years old. And I bought this property when they were babies, and the goal was that it would be the way to fund their college education. And since then, it's taken a turn. And so we'll get to that.

Howard Fox: All right. Very good. Now, 13-year-old boys, I have to ask you, I mean, you look very young for your age. you, you actually have a little more hair than I do, so can't be that bad raising the 13-year-old boys.

Barry Shimelfarb: It's not, I mean, no, every day is just a gift. I think that I feel so blessed that I get to spend my life. With them. So yeah, you're right in many ways, and thank you very much. I, I sometimes don't feel young. I am getting up there, but having these boys, I think it definitely keeps me young. Let's put it that way.

Barry Shimelfarb: I.

Howard Fox: That's good. That's good. Now, [00:03:00] I am curious and, and I, I had shared in the introduction Cancer Thriver and that for me, when I, I met you actually via Pod Match, which is a source of, uh, guess for me on, on the outdoor adventure series. And I was interested because I'm very much, uh, tuned into, uh, nature, mental health, physical health, this connection and the healing power of nature.

Howard Fox: And I, I would love if you could share a little bit about this journey you've been on, because there's a lot of people going through this, uh, a similar journey. And you have taken it and TA and spun it up into a whole new direction. And if you could share a little bit about that.

Barry Shimelfarb: sure thing. I mean, u unfortunately, we all know somebody or have been personally touched. By cancer nowadays. And so in my [00:04:00] case, my boys were six years old when I had cancer. Seven. They just turned seven when I started going through multiple surgeries and radiation, and my diagnosis was very scary.

Barry Shimelfarb: Obviously a single dad and kids were young and not knowing what the outcome might be, but I mean. When the oncologist first met me, she basically looked at me, felt the tumors, and walked me to the front of the line of the CT scanner. And she told me right then and there, she said, start putting your friends and family network together.

Howard Fox: Oh.

Barry Shimelfarb: And I said, now wait a second. Shouldn't we wait till we get the results of the scan? And she says, no. Put it together today. and then she went on to tell me that I won't be able to get out of bed for the next six to nine months, that I'll be on feeding tubes. I won't be able to take care of my kids if I live.

Barry Shimelfarb: And so it was very dire and I think [00:05:00] even proceeding that, I don't know why, but I have an irrationally positive outlook on life. And even in that moment, I was just like thankful for everything that I had lived already and had this mindset, well, okay, cancer, it's maybe 1% of my body, but 99% of my body is healthy right now, regardless of what the scan might say.

Barry Shimelfarb: And so I just approached this. New journey with that kind of mindset. And what I found that was very unexpected was that the time that I was spending in Carmel, California, which is a very spiritual place for hundreds of years prior to the founding of Carmel, it comes from a very spiritual and healing.

Barry Shimelfarb: Space. I found that by me going to that property was just healing to be by the ocean, to walk with my feet in the [00:06:00] ocean and in the sand was grounding. just to feel the light on me when I would go there. And then also to plant in the gardens was part and. Maybe one of the most important pieces of my healing journey.

Barry Shimelfarb: And so you said earlier that I'm a thriver, not some people refer to them as cancer survivors. Some say thrivers. I got on the bandwagon of the thrivers because what I found was the healing is not just about getting well, but it's about really living and not just living, but thriving, but embracing everything around us is.

Barry Shimelfarb: Really a miracle. And when you're going through, a journey like mine and not knowing what the outcome is gonna be, things literally that seem every day, to me, prior appear as miracles, everyday miracles. Right? Just we were born into this world where [00:07:00] we get to see all this natural beauty around us.

Barry Shimelfarb: And one of the important things about Carmel is just how incredibly. Naturally beauty. Beautiful. It is. And I'm maybe anticipating some of your questions, so, so let me know. But I mean, point, Lobo State Park, which is only five minutes from this property, is, and you kind of have it in the background behind you right now, Howard, so

Howard Fox: That was very strategic on my

Barry Shimelfarb: It's just stunning, right? So I I, you wouldn't see it from highway one as you're passing by. But one day I ventured into it and the, the, um, person at the gate when I asked him, what's, what's inside there? It looks like a bunch of trees. He says, oh, not much. Maybe just the most incredible coastline that you'll ever see in your life.

Barry Shimelfarb: And, and he was right. I drove to the gate. You drive about a mile into it towards the coast, and you just see this. Ragged, coastal, rugged [00:08:00] shoreline. That is, it's breathtaking and stunning. And so we're, we're surrounded by that in the location of Carmel retreats. go

Howard Fox: I, I find it I interesting is the way you are describing Carmel and the ocean, the trees, and we'll get into the community in a minute. It, it, it reminds me of what was once perhaps not as much described as going into, uh, Sedona in, in Arizona. As you walk in here and there's, there's something about this place.

Howard Fox: There's just, there's this energy about it, and Sedona is very touristy and I, I don't know how touristy though I can imagine. Carmel how it might be. I mean, you're different, you're definitely catering to a, a, a certain population of folks. But the fact is, the way you've described it [00:09:00] is you've got the ocean, the salt air, you've got the breezes and the, the trees and everything about the, the park and walking barefoot in the sand.

Howard Fox: I, it, it's really speaks to this interest that, that I've been having of this, the healing power of just immersing yourself in nature and the, and the healing that is possible because of it. And so I, I appreciate how you describe that when, and it's also not lost Barry. Back when your kids came into your life and you bought this property, uh, perhaps it was a tactical decision, uh, of this is how I'm gonna pay for their college.

Howard Fox: And maybe maybe the rental aspect of it. The retreat aspect was there, but it took on a whole new iteration because of this other journey that you are now on. So that was, that's not [00:10:00] lost.

Barry Shimelfarb: That's right. That's right. Yeah. It was a, it was a very, um, it was a very big pivot, right? It was our family vacation home and suddenly. it became my healing place, and through that journey I wanted to share it with others in a way that could bring healing to them. And so you're right about Carmel. It's, it is a very spiritual place.

Barry Shimelfarb: People have entered the property at our retreats where, and they've just said it's magical. There's something, there's something you feel about stepping outta this property There. we describe them as ancient oaks, but in California, ancient is about a hundred years old, right? But there are these twisty creed oaks.

Barry Shimelfarb: As you step onto the property, there's a, a towering pine tree in the front yard that goes up probably 75, 80, maybe a hundred feet high into the sky, and we're surrounded by these just majestic trees. And you go onto the property, you just hear water fountains [00:11:00] and you feel secluded. I've, I planted probably.

Barry Shimelfarb: 50, 60, 70 large bushes, shrubs, Japanese maples, and, and trees. So you just feel so secluded on the property and very private. But kind of referring to the Sedona aspect of Carmel, right? Sedona has the, the incredible desert spirituality. Carmel is by the ocean and then it's, it's history. I mean, it's called Carmel because of the, the Carmelite mission, friars who established the area a few hundred years ago, and they can trace their lineage back to Carmel in the Holy Land.

Barry Shimelfarb: And so they came here very intentionally. They, they named it Carmel after that spot. And the, the, the Carmel mission, which is the oldest. In the Carmel mission in the California mission system. It's where Father Uni Rosa is, [00:12:00] interd is just down the road from our property, and I'm kind of getting goosebumps right now just just thinking about it.

Barry Shimelfarb: But we are on a trail that I believe goes back to the Lon Ruso, native Indians, right out in front of the cottages.

Howard Fox: Oh really? Wow.

Barry Shimelfarb: Yeah.

Howard Fox: Interesting. As you are preparing this retreat and when you bought the house. Did you have a sense of what was going to be possible with it in terms of, uh, the, the natural nature aspect? Because, the, the idea of, again, planting trees, planting shrubs, uh, tending to the garden, again, it's, it's very spiritual, but it's also very healthy.

Howard Fox: It's getting your hands, your feet dirty in the, in the, and just doing things [00:13:00] with the nature. Did you have a sense of, this is what I was gonna do when the house was purchased, or did you have a landscape architect, architect there kind of helping you paint a vision of what you, what was possible?

Howard Fox: Or did this journey, uh, change a little bit because of this new journey that you are on?

Barry Shimelfarb: I love the question 'cause it's. I can say honestly that I had no vision of where I would be today with hosting people who have come through cancer and serious illness and so forth. No idea. But I will say that when I saw the property. I, I visited it before it went on the market. I, I went to a broker's open house, so basically there are brokers coming through and I fell in love with it on the spot.

Barry Shimelfarb: And the reason I fell in love with it was because I felt something really magical there. And, and so I must have had some kind of vision because Howard, it had. It had shag rug with, I, I'll just say it, probably [00:14:00] vomit stains in it from parties over the last hundred years. It, it did not smell good. My neighbor was saying it was a tear down.

Barry Shimelfarb: it had a, a lazyboy recliner sitting in the living room that it, the places did not show well, and the people that I bought it from were in their mid nineties and they were the grandchildren. Of Eliza who had built and bought that property a hundred, a hundred and couple years ago, a hundred years ago, maybe 102 at this point.

Barry Shimelfarb: And so I had to have some vision to kind of see beyond that mess. But what I saw was. Original pine plank floors. Hopefully beneath those shag rugs, I saw wavy pane windows. I saw original thumb latch hardware on, uh, the Borden, Batten doors. I saw, I mean, for me, I just got excited about it. So I think it's not.

Barry Shimelfarb: Total surprise that it's on this trajectory right now, because I felt something, maybe it [00:15:00] was just a hum, maybe it was a vision. I don't know what I, I never brought a landscape architect onto the site, but the, the gardens have just evolved organically. Right. There's just not this beautiful little winding trail through the entryway.

Barry Shimelfarb: I've put little paving stones in the side of the path. I've plant, you can see next to me that there's these, um, beautiful Aon plants, these succulents in the gardens, ferns, Japanese maples. There's, A swing bench under an arbor in fountains. It is just kind of evolved, I'd say every time I go there, I think, oh, it'd be nice to have a little, this plant here.

Barry Shimelfarb: And so I'm constantly digging or planting something or watering something.

Howard Fox: Okay. Very nice. So I am curious when the real agent, the broker, said. Drop the keys right in your, in the palm of your hand, and you spent that first night. What did that feel like?

Barry Shimelfarb: I couldn't, I [00:16:00] couldn't believe it. I mean, anybody who's visited Carmel you, it's, it's hard not to just. Fall in love with the place. It's a little bit of a secret, like not everybody knows about it. I think that Sedona is much more well known. Carmel is a little bit hidden. It's an enclave. It's a little bit out of the way, but the people who visit it or have heard about it, it's just a.

Barry Shimelfarb: So stunning in terms of like it, it feels European or Italian or French Riviera and coastal and small town, all boutique shops just, it's just so, so incredible. And so when you actually have a small piece of that beauty, it's. It's a little bit like you need to pinch yourself, and so why have I been given this gift?

Barry Shimelfarb: Well, the the gift is that you get to share it. That's the beauty of natural beauty. Why? It's not, it doesn't belong to us. We don't get to take it with us. It's how can I, how can I share this with other people in a meaningful way that's gonna bring [00:17:00] meaningful change in their lives? Either bring them joy or romance or, or healing.

Barry Shimelfarb: And, and through that, I can also find joy in my own life and healing.

Howard Fox: Sure. Now I, I, I want to, uh, chat a little bit about the folks who are coming through the property, but bef I have one last question about. Your journey, a as you were given a little bit of a curve ball, uh, and with, with your journey, when did you realize, or was there a moment that you realized, uh, decision aside, you've made the purchase?

Howard Fox: That was, again, it's, it's a means that for your, for your boys, In a number of years away, but when did you realize there's something else here in nurturing about this place? That this was the ticket to my thriving.

Barry Shimelfarb: So I, great question. I can think [00:18:00] of a few different moments. I think there's a good aha moment in there, but it.

Howard Fox: Mm-hmm.

Barry Shimelfarb: I've never advertised the property. It's basically been by word of mouth. It's, it's, it's very small and boutique and personalized. And because I don't, I don't know how to market, I don't know how to get out there.

Barry Shimelfarb: But in being on your show, Howard, it's kinda my first foray into, Hey people, there's this opportunity out here that I'd love to have you come and stay and, and be on this journey with me. But, um, I, I, I. I just remember that people found me, they somehow found me and people I didn't know, and they were, I had my website of course, but there's nothing driving traffic to the website.

Barry Shimelfarb: And so people were finding me, and sometimes they would just reach out to me, and then when they'd kind of read into my blog on the website or read about my own cancer journey, they'd say, oh, it's just kismet that we found one another that, that I am going through this too. [00:19:00] And not only that, I, I was diagnosed with a fairly rare form of cancer.

Barry Shimelfarb: And within a few months, two other people who had my exact type of cancer had found me and they stayed with me. One who had lost and had been very disfigured. And, and she became, um, an inspirational speaker and just really felt some kinship with this property. And then there. Another one who had been through my similar type of cancer journey, which is if you survive it, I mean, I lost 50 pounds.

Barry Shimelfarb: I could not swallow. it took me years to learn to swallow again, to be able to speak again. I had to go through speech therapy. I still have trouble. I do choke a couple times a day to this, to, to today, and so. People who have been through that particular type of cancer. it's, it's not, it's very difficult.

Barry Shimelfarb: And anybody who's been through cancer, I think, it's probably the scariest moment that they've experienced in their life. So to have people there and coming through healing and to tell [00:20:00] me that they're feeling healed from it is. It's like, oh my gosh, it's a blessing that I get to share this with others.

Barry Shimelfarb: So for example, there was a guy who came to the property and he had some, um, brain cancer and it had spread throughout his body and his prognosis was very. Unclear, but he told me that he was on a particular type of medication that the doc that was kind of an experimental medication. The doctors believe it could prolong his life for another six months or nine months and so forth that he'd need surgery at some point.

Barry Shimelfarb: And we spoke and I shared some of what I had done to heal myself. And when I spoke to him again in six months, he said, I'm in remission. My doctors aren't even recommending. Surgery for me anymore. And he says whatever they were seeing before seems to be gone or shrunk. And [00:21:00] so I love it because there's certain books that I've read that I share with anybody who's going through this and I say, read this book or do this healing or eat these foods.

Barry Shimelfarb: This could help you. Or this mindset of knowing that our bodies have everything in it already, that we need to cure ourselves and we need to get out of its way. So that's, that is eyeopening to me. Right. And that, that we can heal here. And then if you'll allow me, I'll, I'm, I'll tell you one more situation where I had a young couple who had come to stay for a retreat, personal retreat, and they had just lost their first child during pregnancy.

Barry Shimelfarb: They'd miscarried and I set them up with one of. The local practitioners who took them on a spiritual hike through the Redwood Forest of Big Sur, and they texted me the next morning and they [00:22:00] said that that was the first full night's sleep where they've slept through the entire night since they lost their child.

Barry Shimelfarb: And that that week, those. Those nights that they spent there with the, the ocean air and, and, and experiencing Carmel was healing for them as a young couple. And about nine months later they told me they, they welcome their first child.

Howard Fox: Oh wow. That's fan, that's, uh, amazing.

Barry Shimelfarb: that's amazing. Right? You just think, okay, so you can, you come here to heal?

Barry Shimelfarb: I believe you can. With Carmel is a healing place, but it's also like this life-giving place too. You, it, it's that you can refind love, you can refin romance, um, and joy and wellness that can bring life. Yeah.

Howard Fox: When visitors are coming to stay. How are you helping them curate the journey that they. [00:23:00] Should be going on. And how, because you go to some places or you're gonna do this, that, and the other thing. And I, I love the fact that, on your website, and we're, we're gonna go there shortly, but this is not like, here's, here's the, uh, the honeymoon package.

Howard Fox: Here's the recovery package, here's the, uh, spend time in nature on a full moon package or whatever. But how do you help them? Curate their journey so that they're gonna ge, they're gonna leave knowing they got E, this was the right place at the right time for them.

Barry Shimelfarb: Sure. Well, well, number one, I've done and still do retreat packages myself, so this, that and the other thing. I enjoy myself. Right. And I think there is a. Place for them. Carmel retreats is different though. It's it's deeply personal. It's tailored to you and it's, it's the re it's the Stay You, it's [00:24:00] it's your way.

Barry Shimelfarb: Stay your Way, retreat. And what I do is I create a setting for them. To put together what they feel that they need. So if we think of maybe a list of eight different ways that we can heal our bodies and experience joy in romance, we don't know what three or four ways might be best suited to you. You know that Howard, you know how you want it.

Barry Shimelfarb: So what I've been fortunate to do is find some really incredible like-minded practitioners based in Carmel within a few blocks of the cottages. Who will guide a guest on those spiritual hikes in the rainforest who can do a cacao ceremony with them, which is just, if you've never experienced one, I won't go into the details here, but it's, it's transformative Or, um, just doing your own hikes or you can partner with, with a local practitioner to do, um, sunrise meditations, [00:25:00] um, or I have.

Barry Shimelfarb: Thousands of streaming self-development and, uh, personal development programs that they can follow. So what I do is if you go to the website, you'll find a guide that will help you plan your own stay, and we'll connect you with those partners so that you can do it the way you want to. And most people. stay 1, 2, 1 or two weeks that we have some who come every year for six weeks.

Barry Shimelfarb: but if you find that you stay for seven nights, you, you won't have any problem filling seven nights. You're gonna wonder why you didn't stay longer.

Howard Fox: I, I love it. And so I, I think it's a great segue. Why don't we go to the website? 'cause I would love, uh, you to. To, to, to share the beauty that's there and describe, the, the room, the, the, the, uh, cottage, the, the rooms. There's also a piece here that I'm curious about the [00:26:00] postcards. and I, I'd love for you to chat about that, but I'm gonna share my screen.

Howard Fox: So, in the, the Miracle of Modern Technology, we should be seeing my screen right now.

Barry Shimelfarb: That's right. So there's.

Howard Fox: All right, there it is. And for our listeners, this is a very important, uh, uh, event because we, we were, uh, technology. We had a, we, we had to get it working for you. So here we are. so Barry, take us on a tour now.

Barry Shimelfarb: Sure thing. So this is the, um, the website for the property. For starters, there are two small cottages. One is a two bedroom, two bath main house. That's the one that we're looking at right now. We host couples there. sometimes they have a friend drop by who can stay in the, in the additional bedroom.

Barry Shimelfarb: There's also a, another little studio cottage on the property that's just, just an incredible tiny house. but Howard, if you scroll up, scroll up to right there [00:27:00] with that, Kinda the middle of this page where the gallery is.

Howard Fox: Okay,

Barry Shimelfarb: I can have you kind of scroll. Yeah. So that, that picture right there, that's the sunroom where you get this incredible morning sun.

Barry Shimelfarb: It's the perfect place for your morning coffee. there's a

Howard Fox: all about that.

Barry Shimelfarb: Yeah, there's a little deck that you can kind of see through the windows with an umbrella. There's a beautiful fountain. Boganville is growing out. There is some Chas loungers to relax on, but go ahead and scroll to the right. I won't go through every, I won't talk about every single picture, but you can see this beautiful kitchen that's incredibly well stacked with everything that you can imagine to cook.

Barry Shimelfarb: You can keep going. keep going. A guest book. Kitchen coffee set up. We have three different coffee makers for however you'd like to prepare your

Howard Fox: I'm gonna have to, uh, teach you on the, the, the, be the wonderful aspect of roasting your own coffee, but, uh, as opposed to [00:28:00] cure eggs, but that's another, or nespressos.

Barry Shimelfarb: I am. I'm all ears, but I think we'll do a separate podcast. Right.

Howard Fox: There you go.

Barry Shimelfarb: okay, so this next picture, go click one more 'cause I think you can see. Okay, so there is a soaking tub in the main house. There's a cast iron soaking tub, the original one from a hundred years ago. I fixed it up and, and renovated it, but we provide the guests with bath salts and so people and guests really can enjoy this soaking cove.

Barry Shimelfarb: It's an incredible experience. You can light candles and listen to music. The upstairs, the, um, the bathrooms have been completely renovated. So even though it's a hundred years old, it's been upgraded with all modern amenities. Very large walk-in shower,

Howard Fox: that's, that's what I want in my life is a, is a huge walk-in

Barry Shimelfarb: huge walk-in shower. Yeah. And, um, stepping into the bedroom. Let's hang out there for a minute because there is a king and an eastern king-sized bedroom in every bedroom because I'm one of these people. [00:29:00] Might be a single dad, but I like to spread out. I'm like, I'm a big sleeper, right? So I've always been a believer in a king size bed.

Barry Shimelfarb: It's the largest bed that you can buy and I've outfitted it with these. vintage, I'll say looking, uh, restoration hardware, um, lights and fixtures and hanging lamps. But people tell us, they, they ask me after they stay there, they want, okay, Barry, where did you get these sheets? What is this mattress?

Barry Shimelfarb: What is the model number? They tell me it's the best sleep of their lives, and I, I share that information with them. But what I really say is, um, just crack the windows open or the fresh ocean there. You're guaranteed the best

Howard Fox: I, something I, that has got to be the most phenomenal sensing feeling is just what that ocean breeze and the salt air, and it's just, uh, it's just, it, it, it, I, I am shivering right now just thinking about that. I love it.

Barry Shimelfarb: You smell it. I mean, [00:30:00] we're, you smell the scent of the ocean in a good way. We're just up the hill from the ocean, and if you have the window open, I mean in the, it's perfect sleeping weather at nighttime every evening. Let's say if it's warm during the daytime, it's still gonna be 60 degrees or 55 degrees in the evening.

Barry Shimelfarb: Just incredible. You can keep scrolling up a dresser.

Howard Fox: No.

Barry Shimelfarb: Maybe there is gonna be a picture of the outside. So there's this beautiful little Dutch door on the back where you can go out to the deck. yeah, this, this Dutch door so you can, we really don't have many flies or mosquitoes in Carmel 'cause of the ocean breeze.

Barry Shimelfarb: So you can just keep this Dutch door open and you just have this kinda open passage way out to the back deck and the view from the back deck. Unfortunately, I don't have a picture of it in here, but you're just looking down kind of into a small valley with. These majestic towering pines. And I've planted, cypress trees in the backyard.

Barry Shimelfarb: So it's [00:31:00] really just, you feel almost like you're up in a tree house in a, in a little way, but you can click, click onward. Always think wine is a good thing.

Howard Fox: Of course, little barbecue in

Barry Shimelfarb: Weber barbecue if you wanna fire up your own barbecue and then fountains in the garden. In the entryway, and it's a very zen-like setting.

Barry Shimelfarb: Yeah. So I think there, I think now we're just in the laundry room, which might not be the most exciting thing,

Howard Fox: The most, oh, look at that. Mm-hmm.

Barry Shimelfarb: I mean the, the living room. Okay. So there it is. The living room. Just you can cozy up by the fire and just play backgammon or drink your chin cocktails in the evenings. And there is a, a large.

Barry Shimelfarb: Flat screen TV where you can just enjoy whatever programming you want. I've actually put together, I call it a film festival for my guests, where I have purchased, um, [00:32:00] 10 films that have been set in and around Carmel over the ages going back through Hollywood history.

Howard Fox: Oh, very cool.

Barry Shimelfarb: the guests actually gave me this idea that they said, Hey, isn't this where XY and like, from here to Eternity was set.

Barry Shimelfarb: And I was like, let me check that out. Yeah. So there's Burt Lancaster on the beach having this famous make out scene, which was so risque at the time. And so I have that film and one of the guests told me that he came to Carmel in my property for his anniversary and he took his. Bride, his wife of, I don't know, 20 years to that spot and reenacted that burnt Lancaster scene on the beach with her.

Barry Shimelfarb: And it was like, wow.

Howard Fox: Good for them. I love it.

Barry Shimelfarb: that's our film festival.

Howard Fox: Okay, so we have the guest house as well.

Barry Shimelfarb: yeah, I think, I think, let's see. We can scroll through that one quickly too. I'll just show one or two pictures of that guest house and then we can go back up to the top nav. But again, the king, the king [00:33:00] bed, and the space has, again, even though it's a small, tiny house, it has a full kitchen with a full size oven range, refrigerator, sink, microwave, everything that you would need and want.

Barry Shimelfarb: And. It had this tiny little shower in it that I expanded into. Again, a big, nice four by four foot walk-in shower. We provide our guests with bathrobes.

Howard Fox: See, that's nice. That's a nice, that's a nice touch of like, have a monogrammed, Carmel retreats, bathrobe, just by the way, take it with you.

Barry Shimelfarb: yeah, yeah. People have asked me and so they can do that.

Howard Fox: I love it. Oh, this is fa I mean, I, I, it's funny, my, the roommate and her boyfriend, they're selling the house where I live, and they're looking to establish like a tiny home community and. We were talking about sizes of, of the units and I think, a well designed, I could be very happy in a 400 square foot.

Howard Fox: Well, maybe not that small, but, [00:34:00] 'cause I have my podcast studio, uh, my coaching, and then I have my bedroom as long as I have a kitchen and that I can cook in. So this guest house, it looks, looks perfect. what else should we, let's talk a little bit about. The retreats and, and the, some of the vendors that are, that you've partnered with.

Barry Shimelfarb: Well, let's, you can kind of see the navigation at the top before clicking into any one of them. I'll kind of go from the left to the right just to say it, but so we have the cottages that we just kind of saw on the left. We have our reviews there. The next, the next nav over to the right would be the private retreats.

Barry Shimelfarb: That's where we have our guide, uh, our downloadable guide and PDF form that you can use to plan your own retreat and kinda understand what some of the elements of a private retreat might be. scroll back up for a second. The next one over postcards. You were referring to this before, so Yeah, so I, I, I have a [00:35:00] number of different surprises for guests when they come to stay with me.

Barry Shimelfarb: Now this will kinda get the surprise away, but, but in this day of Instagram and instantaneous communications and expectations of immediate response, I found that by. Putting together an actual postcard pack of photos that I'd I'd shot and created from around Carmel. I give my guests this little postcard pack.

Barry Shimelfarb: I provide them with stamps and a pen

Howard Fox: Oh

Barry Shimelfarb: and say, and of course it has my logo on there for promotion.

Howard Fox: sure.

Barry Shimelfarb: But, um, pe my guests love that because we're no longer in an age where we send postcards and to kind of harken back to a time where we send postcards is really special. So after my journey with cancer, I kind of built on that and I've created this program that we're looking at right now called Postcards of Healing.

Barry Shimelfarb: It's actually, well maybe you're launching it right now, Howard, because nobody knows about Bot except for you [00:36:00] and me. And right now your guests will, But this is my way of giving back because I feel like I've been given so much as a gift. It's my way of giving back because when guests book, there are these gaps in our calendar and in those gaps between bookings, I had given away those stays to, um, artists and writers and.

Barry Shimelfarb: historians and so forth, but I decided I now wanna give those gaps to people who are coming through healing or, or in need of rest. So we're launching this program where is, if you send me a postcard, a physical postcard nominating somebody who's coming through an illness or a stressful journey or a loss, um, we will pick somebody at random for each of those gaps and have them come for a completely free stay.

Barry Shimelfarb: At the property. So I want to get this word out there. I want as many people to know about this as possible because we all know [00:37:00] somebody, unfortunately, who's coming through this. So basically on that page, you sign up and you get the information of where to send the postcard.

Howard Fox: Excellent. No, I, I, it's a wonderful, just a, uh, per, it's a experience that, that you're making available. And it's, uh, I mean, and there's always gonna be a gap here, a gap there. And it's now, it's, it's, it has much more meaning to it. I love it.

Barry Shimelfarb: Yeah. So it's called Postcards for Healing.

Howard Fox: okay.

Barry Shimelfarb: That's the name of the program. And we, the program is now live. It's officially live

Howard Fox: It's officially live. I love it. Happy to, happy to provide that, uh, that, that, uh, service right now. So let's talk a little bit, so if we keep going off to the right, this is the Explorer.

Barry Shimelfarb: So this is all about Car Carmel. You'll find links to everything to do around Carmel. Some of my favorite restaurants and I have a lot of secrets from having lived there for for 12 years, but there's probably 40 little [00:38:00] beautiful courtyards around Carmel to discover, and you're probably gonna. Maybe discover seven or eight of them while you're there.

Barry Shimelfarb: And I have my favorite ones with little chocolate and wine tasting rooms off of it. And they're just the perfect place to sit by a fountain in a little teak bench and nibble on a truffle with a glass of port wine, something like that in the evening during sunset. I mean, just, it's just beautiful

Howard Fox: I, I can just imagine. The visitor coming to Carmel, they've heard about it and they've made their way to, uh, to the town, to your retreat. And I can imagine it's, it also has to be very hard to leave. it's like, and as you said, they come back, year after year.

Barry Shimelfarb: I encourage people to take a small piece of Carmel home with them. So those anem, the, uh, sorry. Those, um, succulents that you can see growing in my garden. I [00:39:00] say snip went off because they live or can live forever, right? That they're, first of all hard to kill. And I, believe it or not, don't have the greenest thumb, but I encourage my guests, take one of those home, plant it in whatever kind of soil you have, take it home and it'll live.

Barry Shimelfarb: Forever. If you just give it a little bit of water, doesn't

Howard Fox: I love it. I love it. Now you have a blog here as well.

Barry Shimelfarb: yeah. But just backtrack to the Explore for just one second. If I can scroll down to the best Carmel hiking trails. So in there I have some of my favorites, but there's up at the top is Mac Way falls in Big Sur.

Barry Shimelfarb: But the coastline is incredible Point. Lobos is unbelievable. The Redwood Forest of Big Sur people know about these, but also unknown are certain state parks like Pinnacle Peak and what's unknown about, there's Pinnacle is that Pinnacle's National Park right there is that they've reintroduced the California [00:40:00] Condors into Pinnacles Peak Park, and those are the largest.

Barry Shimelfarb: Perhaps the largest birds in the world. Wingspan of eight to 10, 10 feet. Maybe the albatross is larger. We don't know, but you probably will see condors circling in the sky above you. They've had very successful reintroduction. And who gets to go on a hike? I mean, that's just not known. People don't know that about the Carmel area, that you're gonna go to these parks and see things.

Barry Shimelfarb: You go home and you tell your friends, wow, I suck. California Condors that were essentially extinct a number of years ago, just circling in the skies and

Howard Fox: I mean, some of these, these little moderate, uh, to easy loop trails, I'm all, I'm all about that. I mean this, to catch this view is like, oh my God,

Barry Shimelfarb: So Gar Patta, if you go up a pretty easy hike to the top of one of the Bluffs, you have a 360 degree view of the coast of California on one side, and then the Redwood Forest on the [00:41:00] other side. It's that Robinson Jeff calls. It's the the majestic meeting of, of granite and ocean. It's incredible. If you don't wanna climb.

Barry Shimelfarb: We have what's called Mission Trails Park, just a couple blocks from the cottages where you just go in this kind of 40 minute loop, and it's just really beautiful as well too, if you don't want climbing.

Howard Fox: Wow. I, I have a, uh, it's, it's my own personal inside joke. And when I interviewed Destination, so if there was a visit or Discover Carmel or the a Chamber of Commerce, I'm always joking with them. I'm always looking for my next place to live. And, and I have to say, Barry, that's going through my head right now.

Howard Fox: Okay. Just, just saying,

Barry Shimelfarb: I, I will say some, some of the partners, the local, uh, businesses that I've partnered with, they have been founded by people who just visited Carmel one day, [00:42:00] fell in love with it and never left they mad dogs. I mean, you were asking earlier about some of my partnership with the local businesses, mad Dogs.

Barry Shimelfarb: Bikes. They do e-bikes, they do vintage e-bikes, and they just fell in love with Carmel. They were a young couple and they set up their business a block or two from the cottages, and we sent our guests there to go on their e-bikes and just cruise along the coastline.

Howard Fox: This is amazing and it would be very interesting to. To chat with a lot of these, uh, vendors, businesses that you have partnered with, and the ones that have done just what you just shared. They, they came here, they experienced it. They said, we love it here. Let's see if we can establish a business, because those are great stories as well.

Howard Fox: Especially how, with your, your visitors, their experience, [00:43:00] their cur, helping them curate their experience. And there's definitely some great connections here. Restaurants, there's probably a really good cup of coffee somewhere in Carmel, I would imagine.

Barry Shimelfarb: More than one, uh, three or more, four maybe. Really incredible cafes within two or three blocks is, would you mind if I did a shout out to a couple of these local partnerships? I would say, I mean, number one salty soul yoga studio down the end of our street is pretty incredible. And

Howard Fox: Do we have a link here for them

Barry Shimelfarb: there's not one right there.

Barry Shimelfarb: And I'll send you the links for show notes.

Howard Fox: Oh yeah.

Barry Shimelfarb: But that's one. There's another one called Earth Kira Apothecary who just, just opened. I think on her Instagram profile, you'll see a picture of her next to Brad Pitt because he wander in one day and he liked what she was doing. But she will curate and create any kind of blended herbal tea that you want.

Barry Shimelfarb: So, it's just an incredible [00:44:00] nurturing environment when you walk into her shop. There's mad dog bikes that I mentioned. Monterey touring vehicles. If you like vintage cars, I recommend renting, one of their vintage roadsters and just bombing down highway one, the, the whale watching tours. We also have, um, earthbound farms or organic farms where you can sit on an erotic chair and by the sunset, by the.

Barry Shimelfarb: a fi a bonfire when during the daytime you can pick your own tulips in the spring there. So

Howard Fox: I love it. I love it.

Barry Shimelfarb: too. So there's, there's more than I can mention. There's Bergin in terms of the restaurants that I love, Bergin, Justin Cogley, the chef there.

Howard Fox: Mm-hmm.

Barry Shimelfarb: Won his second Michelin Star a couple of months ago, which is, uh, the top rated restaurant in the entire Monterey area and well deserved, but few people know about him.

Barry Shimelfarb: So he serves an in incre incredible tasting menu called, uh, [00:45:00] aubergine. so I could go on, but let's

Howard Fox: Yeah, well definitely, uh, let's, highlight them for, on our show notes, we'll provide back links to their website and, uh, let's, uh, be, it's a pleasure to give them the shout out that they deserve. And again, you're, you're, I'm like thinking, okay. this looks like a path by the way.

Barry Shimelfarb: That's Lover's point. So that is near, I'd say you'd have to drive to that, but I'm in five, 10 minute drive and as a pathway to lover's point is springtime when the, uh, ice plants that. Kind of creep over. The Oceanside are in full bloom and it's just really incredible.

Howard Fox: Okay. Very good. Barry, this was great, and I know we've got one last page. Let's see, we've got some blogs. These are your musings, I would imagine.

Barry Shimelfarb: These are my musings

Howard Fox: I,

Barry Shimelfarb: places to hike. My journey

Howard Fox: I know, uh, a friend back in Chicago that she's part of the, the society for these [00:46:00] labyrinths, and she would love that. There's the condors, the personal retreats.

Howard Fox: No, this is wonderful. I like the, uh, old, the old time, typewriter. That's what it's called. I forgot what it was called. It's been so long since I've used one.

Barry Shimelfarb: They're all kind of period piece, and I just love mechanical objects. So I think I have one on the contact page too, of an old phone.

Howard Fox: Excellent. I'm gonna come back to the our page and, uh, thank you for taking us on a tour. I mean, it's wonderful photo, so, kudos to you or to your photographer and or, uh, so I mean, definitely gives us a, uh, a great, View of what the experience is gonna be like once the, the visitor comes and experiences the retreat.

Howard Fox: Now I do have a question. as you look back now on this journey that you have been on, uh, and I know you shared a little bit about the, the young couple and, and having lost their, their,their, their. Their [00:47:00] first child and the good news. But what has, as you look back on your journey, what has been maybe another aha moment that you've had?

Howard Fox: 'cause you're, you're making it, I would say you're making a difference in people's lives through embracing Carmel, embracing your home, and making it available. But what is your aha moment?

Barry Shimelfarb: I appreciate you saying that, Howard. I don't. Think I don't, maybe I am impacting people or making a difference, and, and I never think of it that way. And so it's always, I always appreciate to hear that. I just feel like I just wanna share as much as I possibly can. But aha. Moments and insights is that, that we all have this quiet space within us.

Barry Shimelfarb: And me coming out of Silicon Valley, I was addicted, addicted to the culture of high tech because it gave me so much joy and fulfillment and so forth until I had my kids. Then it was replaced by my kids, and then later my [00:48:00] healing journey, I. But we don't take time for that healing moment, that healing space inside of us.

Barry Shimelfarb: Many people say if they sit quietly and meditate, it's the most boring thing they've ever done. Right? And they don't, they don't hear that quiet. They don't hear that voice. And so I'd say sit quietly until you do, because again, we have inside of us the ability to heal ourselves, make ourselves whole, and find what it means to make our greatest impact.

Barry Shimelfarb: It comes to that quiet moment, that moment of somehow connection with something, um, where the, the, the, you know, the knowledge of the universe, some might say, or, or light or however we wanna experience that. It's that connection of something greater than us is where all inspiration comes from. It's where it's a source of all great discovery, all scientific breakthroughs.

Barry Shimelfarb: Everything that Bach or Beethoven ever wrote came through that connection. We all have it inside of ourselves and we don't always realize it. It took me. Even though I'd [00:49:00] experienced it, sometimes before, it took kind of my journey to really realize, to connect with that as much as possible. Yeah.

Howard Fox: Excellent. I love that, Barry, before we head out and. I want to, we're gonna have a lot of the, the links to a lot of the, uh, businesses that are in the community and they're there, you enjoy them. They're helping to support, uh, the experiences at Carmel retreats besides the website, carmel retreats.com.

Howard Fox: Is there any place else you would like to send our listeners to?

Barry Shimelfarb: gosh, you stumped me a little bit. I, I. I mean, there's so many different places to visit within Carmel. I think what I'll do is, again, I'll, I'll include, or I'll pass along to you those links to, um, some of my favorite local businesses and partnerships

Howard Fox: Sounds good. Sounds good. We'll provide also the back links to Facebook and Instagram, 'cause I know we've got those as well. And [00:50:00] Barry, it's, it has been a pleasure to have you on the podcast and I am just, excited and it just, I mean, this is true connection back to nature and the importance of, again, putting your hands in the dirt and feeding the dirt and the sand and the water and taking in that, that wonderful ocean breeze and the salt air and it's just, I, I can only imagine how wonderful it is when you get to actually enjoy it with your son. So, that's fantastic. So thank you again for spending time with us today.

Barry Shimelfarb: Well, I'm so grateful for your time, Howard. I'm grateful for your guests who have put time into listening to this for me. I just, I felt a connection with you, Howard, just because like we, when. When a discussion to me feels like five minutes and just time has been compressed, that's a connection.

Barry Shimelfarb: So you're welcome. I hope I meet you in person. I hope, I hope it's in Carmel, but any place would be wonderful.

Howard Fox: I, I would love for it to be in Carmel, let me tell you that. But no, thank you so much. Listen, stay in the line. We're gonna do a very quick [00:51:00] close and you and I can have a final chat. Okay.

Barry Shimelfarb: All right. Sounds good.

Howard Fox: All right. Alright, folks. I really, really hope you enjoyed today's episode because, uh, what a, a wonderful, uh, individual Barry Shimmel farm.

Howard Fox: again, single dad, two twin boys, and he's got his hands full, but, and he is, cancers, uh, thriver. And the creator of this wonderful experience in Carmel by the Sea at Carmel Retreat. So, this, his story is just, it's inspiring because many of us, as Barry had said, are going on, uh, our own journeys, whether it's, uh, cancer, whether it's loss, or whether it's just, we work hard every day and sometimes we just.

Howard Fox: To take a step back and, and, and recenter ourselves. And what a wonderful place to do it at. At Carmel retreats. Now we're gonna provide all the back links in our show notes, uh, carmel retreats.com, as well as the Facebook and [00:52:00] Instagram. And we'll also have a list of the, uh, local businesses that have.

Howard Fox: Partnered with Barry to create this wonderful experience and we'll provide links to some of the, the experiences like the state parks and the local parks and trails and, uh, and like we do on all of our episodes. Now, speaking of the episode, it'll be up on our website, outdoor adventure series.com. We'll have it on our LinkedIn and Facebook pages on the outdoor Adventure series and, uh, the, uh, whole episode, including the video of Barry taking us. On a tour of the website, we'll be up on our YouTube channel. And of course you can listen to this podcast wherever you get your podcast from. Just imagine walking through Carmel, perhaps, uh, you've spent a night or two at the retreat, you're on the state park and.

Howard Fox: By the way, you can even listen to this podcast episode. How cool would that be? Now, if you enjoy this podcast, please let us know through your likes, comments, [00:53:00] and sharing. And until next time, wherever you are, whatever you're doing, go out there. Have a fantastic day, and we look forward to having you join us on a future episode of the Outdoor Adventure Series podcast.

Howard Fox: Take care now.